


Diamonds for Dinner

by ncruuk



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:33:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22760287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ncruuk/pseuds/ncruuk
Summary: Josh Carter is a good soldier to have around in an alien-related crisis, especially if it's the sort of crisis that necessitates the rearrangement of the State Banquet seating plan on the afternoon of said Banquet.He's just not so good at spotting the obvious when it comes to Osgood and Kate...[Warning - if you like Josh Carter from the Big Finish Audios, I'm not so keen and like writing him as a bit of a twit]
Relationships: Kate Stewart/Osgood
Comments: 8
Kudos: 39





	Diamonds for Dinner

**Author's Note:**

> Unusually for me, this fic comes with a visual stimulus....
> 
>   
> Amelia Davenport in Grantchester (serving as a character stand-in for Kate Stewart) - thanks to eve-granger on tumblr for this!
> 
> [There's also an 'in' joke or two from my UNIT-verse in this story - see the 'Bruising Diplomacy and the Wrong Sort of Tuba' and 'Cheese Sandwich' stories for explanatory reads]

"No, absolutely not!" Kate had seen what was hanging on the door between Fran's office and Kate's office and come to a dead halt, all thoughts of worrying about being late forgotten. "Where's my usual suit?" Kate was certain she'd seen her normal black silk evening trousers and jacket return from the dry cleaners earlier in the week, so wasn't understanding why she couldn't quickly change her blue suit for the black one and head off to the Palace.

"You weren't told about the change of plan?" guessed Fran, making a mental note to have some strong words with a certain member of Troop the next time he wanted some help with an expenses claim or something.

"Clearly not." Taking a deep breath, knowing it wasn't fair to direct her ire at Fran, Kate looked at her watch. "How long do I have?"

"Long enough," encouraged Fran, appreciating her boss' attempt to not obliterate the messenger. "Jenkins is taking you with blue lights at quarter to." It was only just past the hour, and while Fran had never seen Kate dressed up quite this much, she knew her boss was a quick changer so they still had plenty of time. "There's some sandwiches and a drink on your table."

"I'm going to a State Banquet in less than an hour..." Kate wasn't convinced by the need for sandwiches, but a drink sounded like a good idea after the day she'd had.

"Think of this as a late lunch?" suggested Fran, following Kate into her office and removing the cover from the plate with the sandwiches on. She tried not to overuse her knowledge of her boss' weak spots, but with everything going wrong today, she'd decided to bring out the big guns so to speak. "Granary bread, butter, proper cheddar cheese from Cheddar and a tomato on the side." She'd gone to the supermarket an hour ago and bought the ingredients, then stood over the kitchen staff while they made it to her exact instructions, frustrated by some unbreakable rules that stopped her doing it herself.

"Perfect!" Suddenly noticing that yes, she had missed lunch as it didn't combine well with the Judoon audit negotiations she'd been in all day, Kate sat down on the couch and took a generous bite of the first sandwich. Chewing slowly, she poured herself a small whiskey and raised it in toast to Fran. "Thank you, this is just what I needed."

"You're welcome." Still standing just inside Kate's office, Fran wished she had a file to hold so she had something to do with her hands.

"Just tell me Fran, what's gone wrong and what am I volunteered for?"

"Colonel Walsh is going to brief you, but you're going as Lady Helena FitzRupert."

"In what capacity?" Usually when she couldn't escape going to State Banquets, she went as 'Kate Stewart', a Permanent Under-Secretary or Director in either the Ministry of Defence or Home Office.

"Lady-in-Waiting."

"Well that explains the frock." Kate took another bite of her sandwich and chewed distractedly, trying to work out what might have happened in the six hours or so since she'd had her last briefing on the evening's event, threats and plan. "Back up?"

"Captain Carter is attending in uniform as an equerry, Captain Stewart is providing covert support." Fran had asked Maria Walsh what that meant in case Kate needed more details and hadn't entirely enjoyed the answer.

"Translation Josh is supposed to be eye-catching and distracting while Max organises the snatch?"

"The Colonel did also mention Captain Carter could thump anyone who got in the way."

"Sounds about right." Kate ate the final mouthful of her sandwich and wiped her hands on a napkin, still eying the dress with the sort of expression Fran normally saw when her boss was studying a particularly messy alien. "Is Os still here?"

"She's finishing the tech briefing for the Colonel now, then said she'd come here." Fran saw the the look of surprise on Kate's face and couldn't help but smile - while she would never say it out loud, they really were very sweet once you knew what to look for. "She took over from McGillop when the plans needed changing and asked me to send her apologies to the chess club." It was Thursday today, and most of the Science Division knew that if at all possible, they should never start anything new on a Thursday afternoon as accidental explosions, implosions or modifications to Newtonian Physics generally meant Osgood missed her chess club evening. "Her friend Claire?" Fran hoped Kate recognised who she was, because the conversation had gone a little weird after that.

"I know Claire." Kate knew most of the people in Os' chess club by name and a even crossed paths professionally with a couple of them in Whitehall, one of which was Claire.

"She said she'd rescind her decline and see you later, happy to help if she could?"

"That's kind of her." Seeing Fran was still uncertain about how all this fit together, Kate tried to explain as succinctly as possible. "Have you seen any Bond films?"

"Yes..." Kate's question was now confusing Fran even more, having had it on very good authority from Max that Kate had never seen any of them though did tolerate teasing from her family whenever she went to the cottage in Scotland.

"Think of Claire as Q from the films. She's got partial clearance with us." There had always been a degree of overlap between the Security Services and UNIT, and the relationship became closer when the Dekker brought the MI5 Technology division to UNIT.

"And is a member of Osgood's chess club who can just volunteer herself to attend a State Banquet."

"Yes." Kate finished the rest of her whiskey. "I best get myself sorted then, defend the door to anyone except Os please?"

* * *

  
  


"Why did she get to go in?" 

"What was that Captain Carter?" Maria had heard her impatient officer's grumble perfectly clearly but elected to be diplomatically deaf to his continued inability to correctly interpret the facts before him.

"Nothing Colonel." He looked at his watch for the twenty-something-th time since Osgood had slipped into Kate's office ten minutes earlier. "Any idea how long the briefing will take?"

"You tell me Captain, how many questions are you going to ask?"

"Dr Stewart...I...." He’d not been expecting her to not be wearing her usual State Banquet black trouser outfit.

"I'll take that goldfish impression as a compliment shall I?" Hearing Osgood's hmph from behind her, Kate looked over her shoulder at her girlfriend and mouthed a rather pointed 'behave' as she opened her office door wider and gestured for the two soldiers to come in. "Fran?"

"Yes Dr Stewart?" Fran was taking in her boss' appearance, which was completely different to how she'd looked half an hour earlier, with the business suit replaced by a sapphire blue dress that wouldn't have looked out of place in the lush Agatha Christie type dramas she never had time to watch on the television. "Ah, I see." Fran had followed Kate's hand as she'd gestured to her feet, which were currently wearing a perfect colour match but completely wrong looking pair of shoes. "I'll go get something else." She tilted her head to the side while she quickly reviewed what was in Kate's 'emergency' wardrobe at the Tower. " The Navy satin?...Can you wear stillettos at the Palace?"

"I'll tread lightly."

"I'll be right back, best switch the bag too." A black evening bag with navy blue shoes, no matter how unlikely it was that they'd be seen up close together, was not going to work, but fortunately (and unsurprising given Osgood's involvement in its assembly), Kate's emergency wardrobe included evening bags to match her couple of options for back up evening shoes.

"Thanks Fran." She turned back into her office where Carter had finally worked out how to sit down in spite of his sword. "Where's Max?"

"On his way, with the rest of your accessories."

"Accessories?" Kate glanced at her desk where the rest of her outfit was waiting for her, namely a matching wrap and, much to her disdain, matching elbow length evening gloves. "I already feel like the Dowager Duchess, what else am I getting?"

"About 20 carats of diamond necklace." Maria couldn't help but smile when she saw the double take from Kate at that - she'd finally found something that could catch her permanently sure footed boss off-balance. "Late instruction from HM when she received her briefing."

"Oh?" Kate's interest was now extra piqued - not only was she more than curious about the jewellry but, having missed all of the last minute changing of plans due to the Judoon negotiations, she was also keen to know who had done the HM briefing.

"I did it," said Osgood quietly, instinctively checking her bowtie hadn't spontaneously untied itself at the news. "It's why we're rather behind schedule, you weren't in the Royal Party before that, just moved on the seating plan." Changing the seating plan was about the biggest last minute crisis you could cause for a State Banquet, and with the full intelligence brief confirming exactly who their targets were and what their intention was, they'd had little choice but to notify the Palace, a notification that had quickly turned into a direct summons. "Apparently you needed more sparkle in order to blend in." Osgood couldn't help but frown at this almost tautological statement - the whole point of taking advantage of Kate's standing invitation to attend the State Banquet as a guest had been to maximise their ability to manage things without attracting attention. She hadn't yet untangled all the logic, but clearly it all made sense to her girlfriend, who was now struggling to read the newest seating plan without her reading glasses. "Here." Osgood produced the glasses from her jacket pocket, where she'd put them for safety while Kate was getting ready. "What will you do at the dinner?" The frames didn't really go with the dress or, rather to Osgood's surprise, her girlfriend's face now she'd done that fiddly hairdo Kate hated but Osgood rather liked as it did make it impossible to ignore her neck...Blinking rapidly and trying not to blush as she told herself off for being distracted, Osgood tried to pay attention to the correct part of Kate.

"...squint. And if the target's too close for that to work, Captain Carter here has failed. Right Colonel?"

"Absolutely. The intention is that everything gets intercepted during the dinner by Captain Stewart's teams. Intelligence suggests they haven't got comms between those inside the Palace and outside given existing published security, so there should be nothing to tip them off..."

"But there's always the good old-fashioned passing of notes?" With the aid of her glasses, Kate was rapidly sorting through her briefing packet, taking in what they'd had to change and what was still consistent with the plan she'd been briefed extensively on yesterday.

"Exactly. If there's any indication they're aware that their plan has failed, Captain Carter's there to intercept." That part of the plan was unchanged from the briefing she'd given Kate yesterday, but Maria still gave Kate the courtesy of a moment to catch herself up from the briefing papers. It did also give her the opportunity to give Carter a very pointed 'do not mess up' Colonel's glare that, much to her well concealed amusement, did make him audibly swallow and nod.

"How the hell did they manage to commission polling data on that?" Kate took her glasses off and glared at the room in general, knowing it wasn't a personal failing of the Colonel. "And since when do alien terrorists know to conduct market research to maximise their plan's impact?"

"We're looking into that."

"Hmm." A knock on the open door caught Kate's attention. "Come in Max." 

"Wow Mum..." It was only after he heard Colonel Walsh chuckle that he realised what he'd done. "Uh, sorry..."

"That's alright Max, nice to know you think I clean up well." Standing up from the armchair she'd sat in to receive the briefing, she headed back to her desk, motioning for him to bring the jewellry box he was holding there. "Let's see what you've got."

  
  


From where she was sat, Maria was able to watch as Osgood leaned in with Kate to look at the diamond necklace that was in the box Max had just opened, neither woman really aware that Osgood's hand had first lightly landed on Kate's bare shoulder and then gently trailed down her spine until it rested comfortably at the small of Kate's back.

"That's..." began Max, looking from the diamond necklace to his Mum, not quite sure what to make of it, also not quite believing that he'd just been walking through the Tower carrying it.

"... a lot of diamonds," agreed Kate, leaning into Osgood as she wrapped her mind around quite what they were looking at. It was one thing to have the Crown Jewels in display cases in this office, but she never actually thought about them as wearable jewelry, nevermind jewelry she would ever wear.

"They're definitely stunning," agreed Osgood quietly, taking her handkerchief out of her trouser pocket and giving her already very clean fingers a precautionary wipe, then, once it was back in her pocket, she reached past Kate towards the box, her chin lightly resting on Kate's exposed shoulder. "Need to be to go with you," she muttered even more quietly, so quietly that Max didn't actually hear what she said, just saw that whatever it was made his Mum blush and somehow manage to kiss the tip of Osgood's nose.

"Put them on for me?" Kate bent her knees slightly to make it easier for Os to reach over her to the necklace as Max held the box closer.

"It's..." Osgood picked it up and was surprised by how much it didn't weigh. "...not as heavy as I'd expect...Ooo!" Maria had very nearly missed what had caused Osgood's near-yelp, then saw Kate's hand patting Osgood's hip and realised she'd delivered a distracting pinch.

"Save the sciencing for after we've saved the world?" Even with only one eye looking in his direction, Max recognised her 'you're not hearing this' glare.

"Yes, of course..." Blinking twice and trying not to notice the smudge on her glasses lens because now was definitely not a moment to reach for her glasses cloth, Osgood lifted the necklace up higher and delicately laid it across her girlfriend's collarbones. "...head forward please?" Focused on the small and delicate looking clasp which logically she knew had to be extremely secure, Osgood made certain it was properly closed and then carefully repositioned it so it was perfectly aligned with the centre of Kate's spine.

"Well?" Kate wasn't quite sure what to make of the expression on Max's face, nor his silence. "Maximillian?"

"G..." Max had to swallow to get his voice to work. "Gordy needs to see you Mum, you look..." He knew he was supposed to be Captain Stewart, about to lead Troop in a covert snatch mission to avert an inter-galactic terrorism attack but deep down he was also still a small boy who thought that their Mum (or adopted Mum in this case) was the most beautiful person in the world.

"Beautiful." Osgood found a stray length of hair that was refusing to stay caught in its pin and deftly removed the pin and put it back into Kate's hair having first properly trapped the escaping strand. "Breathtakingly beautiful."

"Inhaler?"

"Not that sort of breathtaking."

"Ah." Not quite sure what to say, Kate smoothed her hands down over the dress and looked down at herself, only to look up at Os when a reflected spot of light skittered across the front of her dress. The light had been bounced from ceiling light onto diamonds onto lens as Os took her glasses off. "What are..." Kate felt familiar lips find that spot on her neck and found her question forgotten in an instant, only to then sigh in disappointment when the fleeting moment was broken by Osgood pulling back and putting her glasses back on. "...why?"

"You've already done your make-up." Seeing Kate lean forward, clearly of the view that she had time to redo her make-up, Osgood leaned back against the desk, making sure she stayed just out of kissing range but keeping Kate steady by holding her gently around her waist. "And need to finish your briefing."

"I'm sure the Colonel's told me everything I need to know, haven't you Maria?" asked Kate, not moving away from Os but taking the hint and no longer trying to steal a kiss.

"Other than to remind you to put your shoes on..." observed Maria in an amused voice, having noticed Fran hovering just inside Kate's office door from about the time Max opened the jewelry box. "...we've managed to get a mic on the tabletop by your place setting - code word is Pachyderm if you need the cavalry."

"Pachyderm, really?" Kate avoided catching Maria's eye for the Colonel's benefit, though Osgood was biting her lip to stop a smile.

"Yes Ma'am - we had to move onto the back-up list as everything else was...somewhat horticultural." She was an Army Colonel, in charge of some of the most elite soldiers in the world and about to oversee the intercept of inter-galactic terrorists in the middle of a State Banquet. She absolutely had to take the first randomly assigned code word from their back up list because the three first choice options had already been rejected as too likely to be mentioned in conversation by Greyhound One accidentally before she'd joined the mission planning brief. 

"Unusual, what were the discards?" Kate asked the question to keep the conversation going while she held onto Os and stepped into the shoes Fran had just brought, only remembering as she stepped into the first one that these were primarily made for dancing in, so were not only a bit higher than her usual ones, but also had a very smooth sole.

"Kew Gardens..." Not sure why Pachyderm was seeming so unusual for her, Josh stepped into the conversation to provide the ones he'd declared unsuitable. "...Pampas and Elsinore."

"Elsinore's the Anglicisation of Helsingor, a city in East Denmark..." Osgood paused when Kate wobbled as she stepped into the second shoe and needed to hold onto her shoulder more tightly. "...and where Hamlet is set." Which definitely wasn’t horticultural.

"You're thinking of Hellebore." Kate took a careful step forwards and back a couple of times to 'find her feet' in the shoes before deciding she had remembered how to walk in them without falling over. "Which is a winter flowering plant also known as the Christmas Rose, but no matter. Shakespeare can be just as risky as gardening at these things. So Pachyderm it is Josh, I think I can avoid that in conversation." Letting go of Osgood's shoulder, Kate accepted the replacement evening bag from Fran and quickly switched the minimal contents from her black one to the navy one that matched these shoes. She didn't actually need an evening bag, not with a full security escort to and from the Tower by Troop, but appearances were important if she was to 'pass' as a member of Court. "Anything else?"

"No Ma'am." Colonel Walsh stood up, still rather awestruck at how different Kate looked now she was in an elegant evening dress and those diamonds. "Hopefully we won't need you, but will you wear the gloves just in case please?"

"I'll put them on in the car, I promise." She really didn't like wearing evening gloves, but could feel Os' pointed look in her direction as she picked them up - their research indicated their target had the potential to emit highly corrosive excretions through their skin pores if they felt so inclined, so these gloves had been lined with the latest acid resistant polymer as a precaution.

"Jenkins is waiting at the Side Door, escort's ready." Fran glanced at her watch - they were only two minutes behind the schedule they'd given Kate, which meant they still had another 3 before having the escort was helpful and 9 before Tommy Jenkins was needing a miracle and twice as many out-riders as a normal escort. Nevertheless, given their destination, the occasion and this being Tommy Jenkins, they had twice the normal number of out-riders already waiting.

"Shall we?" Kate pointedly leaned forwards and picked up the evening gloves so she couldn't accidentally forget them, then realised she wasn't wearing her wrap.

"Allow me..." Josh tried to step forward to do the gentlemany thing, buttons and metals gleaming in amongst the gold braid of his dress uniform, only to find that Osgood had beaten him to it and was carefully draping the blue satin across Kate's back and making a small adjustment to the necklace clasp so it was once again properly centred on Kate’s neck.

"Walk me out?" asked Kate of Osgood, her hand instinctively tucked into the scientist's elbow, "unless you need to be somewhere?"

"Yes, I mean no..." Seeing Kate start to smile, Osgood decided to steal another kiss though, mindful of what the threat level was for Kate at the Banquet, she did for once deliberately, and with difficulty, avoid that spot on Kate's neck.

"See you tomorrow Fran, no need to wait for me." Kate had planned to come back to the Tower after the Banquet to complete any paperwork that arose from the hopefully straightforward mission by Max's team, and even with the replanning during today she was going to stick to that plan, especially as the necklace would be better kept overnight in her office with the Crown Jewels than on her bedside table.

"One second Boss?"

"Mmm?" Pausing mid stride, already starting to remember how to be surefooted in these shoes, Kate saw her PA holding up her phone. "Really? Is me in a dress that noteworthy?"

"Dress? No. Diamonds like that?" Max jogged around to stand behind Fran and took a couple of pictures using his Mum's phone that he'd grabbed from her desk. "And yes, that is your phone and no, not going on social media...say cheese?"

"Sandwiches," said Osgood and Kate in perfect unison, surprising everyone except Max who merely laughed then passed the phone to Osgood who put it in her pocket.

"May I now go?" asked Kate teasingly, grateful to Fran for thinking to take a photo of them - she wasn't that interested in how she looked in the outfit, but she didn't have all that many photos of Os and her together, and had even fewer with that particular smile reaching up into her girlfriend's eyes.

As Maria and Max followed Kate and Osgood out of the office, Josh Carter took a moment to get his feet moving again, somewhat bemused by what was happening. He didn't think of himself as especially vain about his appearance, but it had been a very long time since he'd not managed to attract a passing comment when wearing his dress uniform. Yes the diamonds were eye-catching, and the Boss did scrub up very nicely in that dress but he'd rather hoped Osgood would notice him.

"Carter?" 

"Coming Colonel..." Giving Fran a sheepish nod, he strode quickly from Kate's office to catch the others up in the corridor, sword and medals jangling in his haste.

Chuckling to herself at the Captain's continued confusion about the relationship between the two Scientists, Fran put her own phone to one side and began to tidy Kate's desk and office, trying to remember the meme her sister-in-law had shown her a couple of years ago.

How did it go?

Oh yes.... 

She looked up and watched Josh Carter turn at the end of the corridor that connected Fran's office to the rest of the Tower's rabbit warren. 

"Oh Harold..."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it. 
> 
> Hopefully you're all familiar with the 'Harold....they're lesbians' meme? If not [this wonderful explanation](https://memedocumentation.tumblr.com/tagged/harold-they're-lesbians-meme)  
> should catch you up!  
> 


End file.
